Thousands Of Live Creatures In Pillows And Other Good Stuff

I am the last person on the face of the earth to be suggesting to other people what they should be doing with their personal routines, but I am going to share some ideas about getting out of bed in the morning that I think other people might find interesting … and in some cases, maybe a little useful too.

Did you know that some dermatologists say that the pillow you sleep on every night contains almost as many microbes as the toilet seat in your bathroom?

Good argument for frequently changing bed pillow casings if you ask me. LOL. Almost gives new meaning to the term, “S**t-faced!”

I had a dermatologist tell me once, “Don’t wash anything unless it is really dirty. You might dry out your skin and cause problems.”

So these days, I find myself washing my face before going to bed at night and once again in the morning on arising because during the night I collect billions of dead skin cells all over my body and that is very yucky for me to think about.

I used to think that using cold water to wash my face in the morning was a swell idea until I found out that lukewarm is much better because lukewarm gets the cleaning job done and does not offer the shock value of cold. I need to be relaxed when I awake in the morning — I will reserve any shocks to my system for later on in the day when I feel like I am better prepared to deal with them.

By the way, while I am on this subject let me also suggest to you that it is better to wash your face before you wash your behind parts …. especially if you use the same washcloth for both. LOL.

Now onto some more interesting information — There is a theory out there (Unproven I think) that you can tell a person who is more personally motivated than another person by observing their bathing habits.

For example, I have heard that the really highly-motivated successful people in this world always wash the upper parts of their body before the lower parts and that people who tend to be slothful or losers start their bathing in the bottom regions of their physique. If this is true, then it is my opinion that it would also be true that if you feel the need to motivate yourself to higher achievements in life, you should wash your face before your anus. LOL. It is apparently more desirable to choose face over a** anytime! I am of the opinion that this works best for the more esoteric thinkers among us (Or those more inclined toward pragmatism and practicality ) than those driven by a sort of neanderthalic-analism …. like a lot of radical conservatives.

If you think your face attracts and holds onto a lot of nasty invisible stuff, you should imagine what the rest of your body does ….There are unpleasant secretions from orifices that can stink once they begin to decay … the space between toes is notorious for this …. one can only envision what transpires in the realm of intimate undergarments. —- Plenty reason enough for my daily morning shower!

Finally, I would like to tell you that I much prefer meeting the world around me smelling like a fresh-cut lemon than smelling like ….. a fish. Because I wear cologne, I have been told I smell like a Two-Dollar Harlot sometimes …. but I am of the opinion that any kind of harlot (Me included) would rather smell like a rose than like a field of fresh cow manure.

So, I have developed an affinity for soap and water over the years.

By the way, you might want to bookmark this blog so that you can visit more easily in the future because I have to tell you, in all professorial humility at my command, that this is the kind of education you can only get from these pages.

P.S. You might consider sharing my remarkable genius with friends and associates. LOL

Author: John American Citizen Opinion Blogger -- Inspired and Educated, smart but not all that gorgeous.

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