Oryctognosy

The word, which I cannot pronounce, “Oryctognosy” is the study of mineralized artifacts.

I can understand “Artifacts” because at my advanced age, I too am an authentic artifact of a bygone era — one of the last of my kind — one of the last holdouts from the Age of Reason.

Ever since the Nineteen Sixties (Hippie Time), the world has been in a slow but steady intellectual, moral and physical decline. The absolute proof of this is the appearance of the neanderthalic non-intellectual slugs we know in modern times as “Radical Right Wing Republicans. (Or Republitards, Rethugs, Repukes …whatever you wish to call them. They are all of a very low order on the evolutionary scale and show it everyday through their insane beliefs, obsessions and choices.

When I first laid eyes on this word, “Oryctognosy” I thought it had something to do with Homosexuals. Do not ask me why I had this misconception. Maybe it is because I once possessed a small sample of crystallized male penile effluvia on a laboratory slide that I often studied under a microscope. I was fascinated by the skeletal remains of the sperm inside the crystals. Those skeletal remains reminded me of the physical wrecks that were left after AIDS had ravaged a real person. My conceptualizations back then were just as disoriented from reality as they are today. But it was all a process of my attempt to learn something… anything … and to somehow get through the horrid boring atmosphere of school daze.

I once had the privilege of attending the opening of an old coffin in the cemetery where my Dad worked as caretaker. The coffin had been buried for at least 35 years at the time it was exhumed in order to transfer it to a newly-constructed mausoleum. It appeared that the corpse inside the coffin had mineralized because the deceased looked like he had turned to stone. That was my last experience with Oryctognosy in any discernable form.

If you are the adventurous kind of person who likes to stretch a concept to its limits, then you can be forgiven if you see the word “Oryctognosy” as also meaning being in a state of drunken stupor. People who are drunk off their asses are often referred to in the vulgar as “Mineralized.” Betcha didn’t know that, did ya?

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