Home made biscuits were once big on my agenda. My baby sitter, Mrs. Hammond, was from the most mountainous parts of old Appalachia and she made her biscuits out of flour and hog lard and other things. She would have turned up her nose at things like vegetable shortening.

Mrs. Hammond also made her own jams and jellies and kept them fresh in a rock-lined dugout in her basement … a place she referred to as her “Pantry.” The pantry was cool, alright and musky and dark until she took her coal-oil (Kerosene) lamp down there to retrieve a jar of blackberry “Preserves.”

My dad had some “Old” ways about him too. For instance, my Dad would make a concoction he called, “Sheep Shit Tea” as what he considered to be a cure for something called “Yellow Jaundice.” Dad also insisted that Vicks’ salve was safe enough to eat and he would always make me take a finger dipped in it after he had rubbed it all over my chest whenever I had the “Croup” or a cold or something of that nature.

My Mother believed in the healing power of tomatoes. She must have believed this because she put tomatoes into everything that she could get away with putting them into. Tomato dumplings ….stewed tomatoes … tomato soup …. tomatoes in the stew …..One day when she put tomatoes into my Dad’s scrambled eggs, the eggs ended up decorating the kitchen wall as he hurled them as hard as he could throw.

But the word in question here is “Upstay” which means to support in an upright manner … much like the action of male sexual enhancement drugs … drugs that cause the male pleasurable protuberance to erect and remain in that position …. often for a long enough time to require medical intervention.

Another use of the word, “Upstay” might be in connection with spousal support after a divorce — “He had to upstay her with alimony for the rest of his natural life.”

Yet another example of the word could be something like, “The conservative mind, a mind that normally operates on the lowest possible intellectual frequencies, worked hard at upstaying the Trump administration … even going so far as to invent some fantasy about the elections being rigged.

I would propose a new use for “Upstay.” I would propose an example such as “He “Upstayed” too long last night and now is as sleepy as can be.

Don’t you feel more educated now that you know how to use an archaic word?

Author: John American Citizen Opinion Blogger -- Inspired and Educated, smart but not all that gorgeous.

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