Let me be the first to tell you that if you ever come into an assload of money, the first thing you need to do is to hire yourself a good money manager and the second thing you need to do is to either change your name or move to another location.
With all the publicity that comes along with sudden fortune also comes a horde of people — most of whom you have never met nor had any desire to meet — all of them clamoring to congratulate you in their quest for a handout. You even discover relatives whom you never knew existed and other relatives who would never have given you the time of day before you had your spell of good luck. There is constant knocking at the door and a constant ringing of the telephone and your mail quadruples in size overnight.
Another thing that becomes instantly necessary is the hiring of a good law firm because your front doorstep or your sidewalk or your very yard becomes a magnet for dick breaths desiring to trip or to fall or otherwise to injure themselves so they can sue you in court for outrageous sums of money.
It seems that once you are known, every individual with something to sell is at your doorstep or up your nose with some cockamamie offer to sell you something … usually at an inflated price. It seems like everything you want to purchase suddenly comes at a premium price. (Not that it matters. It is the principle of the thing that becomes disgusting.)
In a few days, our hero, John, was forced to take up residence in a suite at a local extended-stay hotel, registered under an assumed name and constantly accompanied by two hired private executive security guards.
The one wise decision that John made early on was to retain the services of the management firm that had overseen the inherited conglomerate for the past 30 years or so. It was immediately obvious that his predecessor had chosen a prestigious, albeit expensive, bunch of very talented people to “Take Care Of Business.”
One of the first pleasant surprises was that he had the services of a capable concierge who could, almost at a moment’s notice obtain for him anything his heart desired, expense be damned!
The next pleasant surprise was that our hero would not be responsible for making any business decisions concerning any of the entities making up the conglomerate — he would not be required (but was permitted) ti attend any business meetings and everything he had to do with the running of things was done by one proxy or another. All John had to do was keep track of his daily income and even that was easy because all he had to do was to go on the computer and look at account balances. He did have to contend with a monthly telephone call from the investment agent who handled all his stocks and bonds who usually started the call with pleasantries and then informed him of his position in the markets. “You are up 1% this month, John” or “You are down a few points this month, John, but nothing to worry about because it is a normal correction in the markets.”
He mulled all these things over in his mind as his head sank into the super-plush pillow on what must have been a Thousand-dollar mattress in his suite at the extended-stay hotel.
More to come when the spirit moves.