Sometimes It Rains

I awoke this morning trying to find 15 abstract things about my life that I can blog about. My quest was defeated when it dawned on me that my entire life is an abstraction and so I abandoned the search. If any one of us were to try to set down all the aspects of our individual lives, there would be more literature created than could fill all the books in the world. Aren’t you glad, this morning, that most individuals are not inspired to chart their own life experiences in written form?

I also got to thinking about my preferences this morning. Would I be more inclined to want to walk through the clouds or through a green, dense forest in some remote part of the world? Is my attraction more to lightning bolts than to snakes? Is comfortable fluff and dander more attractive to me than soggy ground, mosquitoes and humid conditions? I had to temporarily hang that thought up as the vision of an imaginary family gathering dawned with such intensity that I thought that I could reach out and touch somebody. But alas, it was as much something — a fantasy — created my my mind … much the same as the fantasy that was created when I reached for the sour cream in the refrigerator this morning and had the hallucination that the lid on the sour cream container read, “Cottage Cheese.”

The vision of the “Cottage Cheese” label on the sour cream container this morning reminded me just how important it is that our mental circuits remain intact. Imagine the nightmare world we might find ourselves in if all our imagery circuits suddenly went awry. Maybe that vision was my first evidence of possible Alzheimer’s in the future. I am, after all, at the crossroads now being of almost surrealistically advanced age. I can’t tell, at this juncture, if it is all fascinating or frightening.

There is the comfort of holding a burning 4th-of-July sparkler in my hand … It is comforting as long as I do not touch the flame … or worse, touch it to my tongue or eye. I have often been tempted to imagine what it might be like if I were to stick that sparkling orb up my nose. Would it be some kind of “High” for me or would be be a disaster? I do not intend, at this point, to attempt any such thing.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why people would give a microphone to a child when children are noisy enough on their own without any electronic enhancement. I am willing to wager that 99-percent of people who read this blog have never given this issue a single thought in their entire lives. Which reminds me, I also wonder how many people, in their lifetime, have ever farted into a microphone for the benefit of a large assembly of people?

A lesson that I learned, early on, during my many camping trips in the great outdoors is that it is terribly difficult to start a campfire with a light bulb … especially when conditions are damp. You would think that the spark inside the lightbulb would be enough to ignite tinder for a campfire but I have discovered that it is something that I just cannot do no matter how many times I have tried. The sad part of this story is that I have always used a very expensive generator to light the lightbulb with.

Speaking of electrical generators, are you aware that an electrical generator must be plugged in before it will generate any electricity at all?

I have been told that if you wrap a dog in too many blankets it will die. I didn’t know that.

Imagine, if you will, constructing a major bridge over a large river with nothing but the steel rods that are used for reinforcing concrete … but never using a drop of concrete in the entire structure of the bridge. Imagine the money that could be saved. I think the same procedure would work for high-rise apartment buildings also …

In my personal opinion, there is no more beautiful sight than a fair maiden with a tiara of freshly-picked wildflowers in her hair kissing a blowfish.

Author: John American Citizen Opinion Blogger -- Inspired and Educated, smart but not all that gorgeous.

4 thoughts on “Sometimes It Rains”

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